A Eulogy for Me

by Stella Romano

On the early morning that the

casket becomes my new home

allow me to put on that black-lace dress

representing the void that has been

shrouding the innocence hiding beneath

this dead skin

but leave my feet bare and let me

pretend that the grave soil is nothing

but warm sand between my toes

you may paint my face into a smile to

cover the frown that has been carved

on it as if asking me to lie for the last

time

and held against my breastbone is

a torn rosary with each bead carrying

not a prayer, but an

unfulfilled promise

as the casket descends to the earth i ask for

no flowers but handwritten letters to remind

me of what i’ve decided to leave behind

for the priest to recite his ritual, may

he also read this poem as my eulogy

for people listen more to the dead

for those who have heard me weep

forgive my sins and my traitorous

mouth with my last breath, my

burdens unleashed

for those who have turned their ears away just

know that the war within me has raged for

years regret is a form of shame arriving to you

as a gift

my body has been dragged across the

dirt even before i lay in this casket under

the Earth but i fought until i had nothing

else to give

but as i return to where i came from the

maggots and worms shall feast on my

flesh and fill the hollow space that used to

be plenty

allow no tears to be shed on a white

handkerchief for the river that flows through

the forest shall provide for your lost hopes

and parting gifts

because the time to grieve has passed for

this time calls for a celebration of my

rebirth and let my body change into what

nature allows

the cracks in my body will make

space spring shall arrive after a

decade of winter and the sun shall dry

the tears i’ve wasted

this eulogy bids farewell to the innocence to

the child who clung to the dreams of

tomorrow but had gotten lost in the endless

sea of clouds

this eulogy hands me the shovel so that i

may dig myself out of this hole and

emerge with the body that nature

provided

and on the early morning of the next,

before the grass grows around the

grave, the Earth shall breathe me

with a new life